Settling into life...realizing that many changes take place in a family. Each child adds different spice to the home. In the last twenty three years, we have watched Spellbinder grow up and into a man.
As I sat looking at the rug near the door in the family room, I grinned as I recalled hubby asking Spellbinder if he was a centipede. Spellbinder had a notorious habit of leaving at least 6 pair of shoes on the rug. It was a scattering that we all adjusted to. Then I smiled through teary eyes as I realized there would be no more centipede living with us.
Mornings with Spellbinder were a big whoosh....well...all but his shower time. He enjoyed waking slowly in the shower while listening to some older tunes on Pandora...sometimes it would be rat pack type music...big band...or maybe french traditional radio. Whatever it was, the music played. He would whisk through the kitchen, thanking me for making him his morning Super Irish Breakfast Tea (the tea that gets us both off to the right start daily), pick up his breakfast and lunch and stride out to his car. Every morning I would watch him pull out of the driveway and say a prayer for his safety.
Dinners will be different...quiet. When we were together for our evening meals, Spellbinder would tell us stories from his work day or offer up some political subject to capture hubby's talkative side. The meals could be quite interesting.
Spellbinder also made time for his younger brother. They would go on bike rides...he would take him out for breakfast...he would carry on conversations with him. As a mom I cherish those times; seeing the joy on each of their faces.
He had gone on a few business trips in the past year. After his wedding, it was sort of like he was away on a business trip...but this time...he won't come bounding through the door with all of his luggage and bursting with stories to share of the people he met. This time, is different. He is truly gone. He has moved out. Spellbinder has married the love of his life.
My heart is glad that he has found his soul mate and that they are beginning a life together. I am also dealing with a sadness...the loss of my son. Oh, I know I shouldn't see it as a loss...I gained a daughter right? (grins) I adore my new daughter. This is an adjustment. Now when Spellbinder comes bursting through the door, Serenity (whom I adore) will be with him. They won't stay. I mean, they won't stay for long....not living here.
There is a joyful sadness in my innermost being. I know children grow up and out of the home. This is my child....my home. Adjustments will be made...emotionally, mentally, and physically. We always have adjustments to make.
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