~Reflection~

I have been in reflective mode. It happens now and then. I get a bit melancholy during these times. I guess melancholy is good sometimes. I think it's good to reflect at times because it takes you back to parts of life and people in your life that bring a warmth to your soul and a smile to your face.

Sometimes I feel like I get stuck in reflecting. I kind of like to stay there. The problem with liking to be stuck in that mode is that my mind is there as I live in the present but when I am interrupted I have to snap out to reality. In reflective mode I can grin as I think of my parents who have both passed on. I can think of my oldest sister who is also gone. 

I like to think of her and have often. Cheryl was a loving and lovely lady. She had much compassion in her soul. We talked on the phone weekly. I like to remember the calls. She was always interested in my family...how my boys were, how my husband was...things going on at church. She would always end the conversation with, "do you have anything else you need to talk about?" She really cared! I miss that I could talk to her.

I enjoy reflecting on my parents. My mom passed when I was 7 so I always ask God to give me memories of her. I can see her beautiful face and sweet smile. She would cover her mouth when she smiled. I guess she had a slightly crooked tooth she was embarrassed of. All I ever saw was her beautiful smile. She was a loving soul also. Dad passed when I was 32. He was a man with much charisma and love. He used to call me when I worked in a university business office just to tell me a joke and that he loved me. The conversation...there wasn't one...just a joke and expression of love...then he would say, "well babe, I need to go." We were both busy and he knew it. He would simply take a few minutes of his day to "drop in" on mine. I cherish those times. 

Now, I watch as my sons grow up. I am so proud of them both. I reflect back on their childhood...their little boy laughter...precious smiles...that softness they had in their face profiles when they were toddlers...watching them with the people who enter their lives...looking at pictures and remembering...there is a picture that my oldest framed for my youngest. It is in his bedroom. The picture is of the two of them at the wedding of my oldest having a thumb war. I love the expressions on both of their faces! They are brothers! I tear up every time I look at the picture. It's a mom thing!

I have also been reflecting on various people who have been in my life and how they have touched it in some way. I have a favorite professor for college. I used to stop in his office at times just to gab about things going on with people in my family. I did this during my sophomore year. After that year I married and returned 5 years later with my husband(who was the student & I worked in the business office). The professor was still there and he became my husband's adviser. We both appreciated and respected him. A very cool and "God thing" was that about 20 years later, this same professor was still teaching at the university and taught our son for 2 courses. He really took an interest in him and our son appreciated him for his intellect and humor. He gave our son "words to think on" for life prior to his graduation from college. People like that leave a lasting imprint on your soul.

There is a sweet lady who used to care for my grandma. She is now in her upper 80's but she does special things for me because she cares. She doesn't live near me but she will drop me a note or send me something to do with butterflies as she knows I like butterflies. 

There are many people I have been reflecting on the past few days. Maybe it is an age thing. Maybe it is just because I am a thinkative lady. No matter the reason, I enjoy reflecting. The memories and "pictures" of the people dance around inside my head bring me quietness of soul and inward smiles.