~THOSE Days~

My mind is a blank! There are times when I walk through a day as if I am a spectator. I awaken...I think...sort of stumble out of bed...bumble around grabbing my cell phone so that I can check the time....I saunter to the bathroom...I see my hands turning on the water in the shower...Ahhhh the glorious shower....

I seem to be getting ready for the day...ah my tea...my tea will bring my brain to life...will it? Watching the electric tea  kettle...clear kettle...I can see the water begin to stir and the blue lights inside begin to glow...am I really watching it? Ahhh the bubbles...it's boiling now! I pour the hot water into my prepared glass infusing tea pot....more waiting time for the tea to steep...ohhh but when it is ready it is so awakening...really? will it bring me out of this fog....am I here?

Pouring my first cup of tea...watching the steam make a sort of wiggly pipe climbing up into the air...I sip...the first sip is always too hot for me...so I wait a little longer for it to cool...am I really sipping? Do I exist today? 

I posture myself in my recliner/rocker....so comfy! I think my body is sitting...resting...but my eyes...my eyes still haven't adjusted...oh and my head....oh my mind...it seems to be floating in some other world...

I have sorted it...I am not here...the world is happening around me...my dogs seeking my attention...going outside and inside as I see my hand open the sliding door for them...

I fog through putting a load of laundry in the washer...My entire day...is an exaggeration. That's what it is...I am not here...My mind certainly is not here...It's not even anything resembling a dream...the day simply does not exist although I seem to be doing things...what a phenomena! 

So, if I am not here...what is here? There is nothing for me to see here...or is there? If everything is occurring inside my head and my mind is merely as if it is floating along...life can be as I desire...yet at the same time...I seem to not be able to create....that fog has not lifted...my mind...my mind is in a trans-like-state. Have you ever been here? Have you had such days? Days when it seems you really aren't here but that you must be here because somehow things get done. You sometimes even talk to people...but you don't really seem to be talking to them even as you are talking to them? And the thing is, you are on no meds to put you in this state. Ah is this an altered state?

On this day....this day that you feel like you are not really here but that you are sort of walking or floating through it...on this day...does it happen as it does for me? You pick up something to read...but you don't really read? You prepare a meal...but...are you really there preparing it? The dishes get done...did you do them? The evening begins...your body seems to be resting on a comfy seat...are you there with it?

I think that some of you reading me think I am a loon. I laugh because...that is fine...think what you will of me. I believe that we all have days in which we feel as if we are not a part of the space involved...that we are simply floating along in this spacey-like frame of mind...that we did nothing to cause this state we are in but that it is an experience that people don't talk about for fear of being judged as being odd...a loon...but those who would laugh at us or roll their eyes at us if we told them of our non-existent states we occasionally experience...THOSE are the people who also experience such times but they take life too seriously...they rarely laugh at themselves...and their imaginations are poo...those people have an insecurity and don't want to appear odd or different ever....but we...we the people who can admit that we have odd or off days...days where we simply float through them and somehow things get done...we are the people who accept our differences...have fantastic minds and imaginations...don't fear rejection...we know that everyone has a "float-y" day now and then and that it is rare to talk about. We know that most days are "normal". Most days are vivid. Most days we are fully there mentally, physically, and visually. Most days we are pert and alert! But we all have to admit that those days in another state...those days are just a little bit interesting...if not more so!