~Thief & Attitude Check~

It's been a few days since my last writing...I've had time to let things sink in a little more...they will surely sink in when I get the port put in and my chemo schedule set up.

So, as I was thinking, my thoughts turned to the thief...this thief will steal my hair, my energy, my time...yeah it will rob me again. As I thought about it, I became mad. I rarely get mad...but this robber is maddening! I feel like it will be more of a thief than a taker...something in me really doesn't feel like it will take my life...but the thievery got to me!

I had some time to think about this thief and during that time God talked to me...about my attitude. "You're praising me and thanking me for things like it only being in your upper right lung and some lymph nodes. That's great and I love that you are praising and thanking me. What's with this thief bit?" My mind began to mutter and sputter, "Lord, you know it takes my energy, my time, my hair...it steals what is mine." That is where I had to be corrected. Father said, "yours? I gave you your hair and have even counted how many hairs grew back in. I gave you energy. I gave you time...and yes you thanked me for getting it back. Time, energy, and your hair...they were all from me. Check your attitude my daughter."

Sigh! Here I was all proud of myself for being all praise-y and thankful and I copped an attitude about God-given things. This nasty monster will steal...it's true. But I need to get a grip! I will miss my hair...time...and energy. I am praying that I will be able to have good energy and not be so pooped out this time.

So as I sat in church, the inside of my head got the giggles. Oh, sure I will fully miss my hair...it helps me look and feel more feminine but I giggled because I began to think of how much more speedy I can get ready...no hair to wash, dry, or style. So as the preacher preached...on the Song of Songs no less (smirk) and how beautiful the lady was, I began this conversation with Father. "Yep! My head will be cold and I will feel ugly sometimes again but you know what? I can wear cute caps and things and you know what God, we can "rock this!" I included Him because as you know He is my Creator and well just because He is my Life!

There is no doubt in my mind that I will have my "moments" and I have no idea for how long I will be dealing with this monster. It is not my life! God is my Life! It will not define who I am! I am a Warrior Princess and Daughter of the Creator. 

I will continue to praise and thank my Father. I will continue to cry on His big, broad shoulders. I will keep remembering the words and promises He gave me: Trust & Hope and Life & Truth.

He and I will journey through this adventure together. We will talk, listen, cry, laugh...simply be together! I am so thankful that Father cares about every little thing in my life! He is my Strength and my Rock!